Bent: Chinatown Drag Kings
by Konpaku Odo
Summary: Duo is confused about his sexuality and runs away to Earth. Do his friends abandon him? And whatever became of Hilde? Strong language and implied situations. Mature teens only.


Chinatown Drag Kings

Disclaimers: Gundam Wing, any Gundam series at all, does not belong to me. (Although…with them kawaii Gundam Boys…-=sigh=-) Well, it's a fanfic. Can't sue me.

Some explanation: Yaoi or straight? What is Duo? All of fans like me have a hard time deciding what this rag-tag American pilot really is. What if Hilde didn't know either, but loved him anyway? A strange fic, probably not the first I should submit…but oh well. Sort of long. Enjoy, feedback is nice.

Duo hated Chinatown. He hated to foreignness of it. He hated the strange dragons in the store windows, the sickly odors from low-class restaurants. He hated the funny clothes that the Orientals would wear- for Chrissake, hadn't these people ever heard of blue jeans?

Actually, as a tourist, Duo had LOVED Chinatown. But when he'd found out...and confided in his new friends...Chinatown lost all meaning for him when he returned to it. Duo kicked a soda can angrily, hearing it clank against a gutter and tumble into the storm drain. Why'd he ever tell those stupid friends of his what he was? But he hadn't been sure- he needed reassurance…How could he expect them to understand? Queers, all of them.

Heh. Queer. Duo knew about queer. It was one of the few English words the shopkeepers would whisper when he walked by. Duo would flip up the collar on his jacket and pretend he couldn't hear them.

It wasn't good to think you were gay in Old World Chinatown.

Duo worked for Hsu Suoh Yep, the illegal marriages hotshot in Chinatown. Have an unmarried son? Order our magazine! Mail order a bride by her face and the propaganda we tell you! Cheap, cheap! Good wives, good finds! Yeah, it sure was a lot lower then his life as a Gundam pilot. But he hadn't been in touch with Heero, Quatre, Trowa or Wufei for almost a year and a half. And he needed something to do in New York.

Duo was barely 19. His job was to find girls willing to be listed in the magazines. For him, best places were the hangouts for prostitutes...they all knew him pretty well. Duo found that annoying- women loved gay men. What, did they find them harmless or something? It was just irritating.

After all, Duo? Harmless? He was Shinigami for crying out loud! None of this timid bull. Besides, he had hoped hanging around women who seemed _born_ for sex would change his ideas of being gay, but the plan had backfired. Duo had even been having dreams of HEERO in bed. Damn, was he glad Hilde wasn't around at times like those.

Not that they had been _bad_ dreams…but it's not like Duo had anything to compare it to. Duo had never had sex with Hilde- well, he'd never had sex with Heero either.

Duo continued down the cracked, uneven sidewalk, kicking small chunks of pavement and beer cans out of his way. He remembered when he told some of the people at the scrapyard how he thought he was gay sometimes. He'd meant it as a joke to them, Jesus, but no, someone had to take it seriously and tell Hilde.

And Duo couldn't lie to Hilde when she asked him if he'd ever had sex with a man. He had, and he had enjoyed it. But he loved Hilde- he was attracted to Hilde. But it had only been Hilde, there had never been another woman he could even imagine- only men. All men and then Hilde. He couldn't make up his mind, could he? So he left the colony, came to earth, came to Chinatown and hoped that submersing himself in the absolute dredges of humanity would give him the courage to decide what he was. 

Duo's heart wrenched just thinking about it. Her beautiful blue eyes had filled with tears because she believed that she had failed him somehow. Duo sighed, looking up. 

It was a muggy sky, and nippy out. Duo shoved his hands into his jacket pocket, tucking a folder of new mail-order brides under his arm just as it started to rain. At least his priest's garb still kept him warm. He tucked his knee-length braid of hair into his jacket in an attempt to keep it dry.

"Aw, for cryin' out loud," he muttered, his brown hair slowly becoming darker as it got soaked, plastering to his forehead and dribbling rain. Duo started to walk faster, hoping he could at make it to the Little Big Dragon shop before it started to really pour. At least in the Little Big Dragon, Duo could stand under the awning. He blinked his violet eyes.

"Come here kid, I have just what you need," a deep, threatening voice breathed. Duo froze in his tracks, looking around desperately for the person who was talking to him. The street was practically deserted, aside from an old Chinese lady snoring away on her own doorstep. So where...?

"Get off me, you- you monster!" a young, but angry, voice called back. Duo looked left and right, trying to find the source of the voices. He heard a slap, like a hand against someone's face, and then the thud of something being thrown.

"You'll like this. Oh, you'll like this," the deep voice continued. Hearing it made Duo's hair stand on end. It carried so much evil intention. Duo took a few small steps forward. He could barely hear the voices. Where were they?

"Stop it! Get off, pervert! Ugh-hhh…ah!" the child's voice cried out in pain. "Plea- please! Just stop! I- I don't want anything from you!" the childlike cry pierced through Duo's ears. Duo's heart started to thump madly. He'd be damned if he was going to just stand by and listen! Oh, what he'd give for Deathscythe Hell right now!

"You ready for it, pretty?" the sneering, malicious voice asked. A cry of pain answered it.

Duo sprinted towards the sound of the cry, only going a few more yards until he passed an alleyway between two stores. It was very narrow, couldn't have been more then four feet across. Standing inside was a large, older man and a young boy. The man's white shirt was completely unbuttoned. The boy looked only to be about thirteen- maybe fourteen? -and was pressed against the wall, the man's large burly hand clamped over his throat. The boy's eyes were wide with fear- understatement number one. He was terrified. Duo recognized pure terror.

"Hold still, pretty boy. You'll like this. Just hold still, don't scream. Such a pretty boy," the man murmured, trying to unbutton the boy's clothes. It was hard with only one hand- the boy was wearing a Chinese jacket, and frog buttons didn't operate like circular ones.

"Please!" a high-pitched wail came from the boy, who was struggling and pounding his attacker with feeble fists. It came out barely a whisper; the man was pressing on his throat too hard. "Oh, please…don't…augh…"

Duo noted, with some surprise, that he seemed to be watching the scene from somewhere else, like a movie. Duo saw his own face contort in unbelievable expression of anger, and his body charged, his shoulder aimed for the larger man's torso, the man not seeing him till the last moment. Like in slow motion, Duo dimly felt the moment of impact, saw the man go flying down the alleywalk, hitting his head on the brick wall. The attacker groaned and then was still, his shallow breathing hanging over Duo's head.

Duo locked eyes with the younger boy, who still pressed himself to the wall, hyperventilating. Duo saw light brown, almost blond, bangs sweeping in front of light brown eyes. God, this could have been Hilde's son, if but for the colors they looked so much alike…

H-he's...so CUTE, Duo realized, taking a step back. He shook his head, grabbed the boy's hand and ran, pulling the kid with him. Duo could relax with being gay, but he was NOT going to turn into some sort of child molester. Besides, he mused, the kid had a better chance of being straight then being gay.

This boy- he couldn't be Hilde's son, could he? No, he looked too old for that…Hilde was only 18…or was it 19 now? Had she had her birthday yet? 

After a few minutes of running, Duo skidded to a halt on the slick pavement. It had stopped raining, and a thorough check behind them proved that they were not being pursued.

"Okay, kid, catch your breath," Duo wheezed. The boy knelt on one knee, breathing heavily.

"I...I..." he managed to gasp, looking up at Duo. Suddenly, his brown eyes widened in shock. "I…" he breathed, then coughed. "That man- I think he was...I was so scared!"

Duo put a reassuring hand on the boy's shoulder, looking him in the eyes. "It's okay, you're safe now," he reassured him. Duo felt as if he'd met this kid before, when he suddenly felt the tremors going through the boy's body- he was shivering, soaked, and it was cold outside. 

Duo snapped out of his daze and looked at the store they were standing in front of. A coffee-house.

Excellent. He could get the kid a hot drink and maybe calm him down.

"Let's get you warmed up," Duo said, taking the boy's hand again (why did this feel so familiar?), pulling him into the coffee-house. As they both entered the smoky room, a sultry, indecently dressed waitress came up to them and seated them. Duo ordered a hot chocolate for the boy and a Sprite for himself. Hell, he just wanted caffeine.

As the boy sipped delicately at his cocoa, Duo studied the kid's face again. The eyes were definitely light brown and not blue. And his voice was different from Hilde's. Softer, a whispery touch to it. Sure, the kid was beautiful, and so was Hilde. But he couldn't be related to her. 

Duo sighed, resting his chin in his palm and staring off in space. God, he missed Hilde so much. The wonderful conversations they used to have! Duo hadn't had a decent exchange of words since he'd gotten off the shuttle onto this miserable planet over a year ago.

The boy stopped drinking, looking down into his drink as if his future was written in it. He had stopped shivering also, and recovered from his hysterics. He looked up at Duo suddenly, admiration, gratitude and innocence in his eyes.

"Thank you, you saved me from that- that man...he was..."

Duo gave the boy a small smile. "It's okay, forget about it. Just being a good citizen, right?" The boy smiled back. Duo extended his hand out to the kid. "I'm Duo. Pleased to meetcha."

The boy put one thin, small, pale hand into the strong-but-gentle grip of Duo's. "I'm…Pilot," he said, after a little hesitation. His voice was light, without tremor. "Wow," Pilot said after they let go. "You've got a strong grip. No wonder you bowled that guy over."

Duo smiled again, and some of his old swaggering attitude returned. "Yeah, not a lot of people think I'm tough enough to do any fancy butt-kicking, but hell, I'm- I'm strong like a god," Duo finished clumsily. He'd almost told Pilot that he was a Gundam pilot, but he decided to save his trump cards. If Duo could make a friend who liked him as Duo, not as Shinigami- maybe Chinatown would be less lonely.

Pilot's eyes shone. "Oh, I think you're plenty tough!"

And they started to talk.

"Pilot's a rather odd name, y'know."

"So's Duo."

Duo laughed. "Got me there. But it has meaning to me. It's not my birth name."

"Pilot's not my birth name either," Pilot retorted, then flushed and looked down. He'd said too much. Duo changed the subject, sensing Pilot's discomfort. "Hey kid, how old are you?"

Pilot eyed Duo. "Seventeen. Why?"

So. Definitely not Hilde, or related to Hilde- for God's sake, couldn't he stop thinking about Hilde? Usually he had no problem forgetting his past. "Ah, no reason. I'm nineteen myself."

They started to talk about other things again. Soon the two were walking back to Duo's cheap flat, talking like they'd known each other for years. Pilot had read a lot about the Gundams and seemed to believe Duo when Duo told him he was a Gundam pilot- even though Duo was a bit tipsy at the time and had forgotten his vow of keeping his identity somewhat secret.

"Seems I changed my mind about having just a Sprite," Duo thought groggily, his arm around Pilot's shoulders as the boy helped Duo walk. "Wish I could remember it! It's helping me forget…forget…what was it? I've forgot…."

"Forgot what, Duo?" Pilot said, lifting his light brown eyes anxiously to Duo's face. Duo looked at Pilot, his vision starting to swim.

"Hilde, is that you?"

There was pause, as Duo swayed unsteadily, blinking, trying to focus on Pilot's face.

"Oh Duo," someone whispered. Duo's head snapped around. That was Hilde's voice, he was sure of it. But no, Hilde was far away, on the Colony. She'd probably gone and married by now. Forgotten all about him.

This sad thought dragged Duo out of his drunken stupor almost completely. He sighed sadly, taking his arm off of Pilot's thin frame. He shook himself, laughing ruefully. "Whew, that knocked me out quite a bit! Come on pal, I'll show you to the God of Death's palace."

Pilot cracked a weak smile. "Palace?" he asked dryly.

Duo winked. "Oh ye of little faith! Come hither- if you can keep up!" He took off into a sprint into the building where his apartment was. Pilot gave a yelp and ran after him, almost catching up. The two of them slammed into Duo's door on top of one another.

"And," Duo said dramatically, fishing out his apartment key and opening the door wide, "here is the lair of Death!"

Pilot walked in timidly, looking around. There was a bedroom with a cot on one side and a giant beanbag in the other. The TV set was placed in the middle of the room. Further investigation revealed a small but equipped kitchen, a computer, and a table with a picture globe on it.

Pilot picked that up and Duo blushed, taking it away from him. "Uh, you don't want to see these. Just dusty old photos of people."

"Well, why not? I want to see what you were like before you ended up here, in New York," Pilot insisted. Duo shrugged. Couldn't hurt, could it?

Pilot settled into the beanbag cross-legged, and Duo sprawled out on the rug in front of him, holding the small picture globe. Pressing a button, he activated it and a group photo of them at Quatre's birthday party appeared on the wall. Duo smirked, his eyes going over the features of the Gundam Pilots and the Maganacs all trying to build a human pyramid with Quatre- sweet, smiling Quatre -on the top.

"That's Quatre," Duo said, pointing to the blonde haired, blue-eyed friend who was forever grinning in the picture, as he knelt on the backs of fourteen men. "It was at his birthday party- he's the youngest of us Gundam pilots, y'know. He fell off and it was lucky for him that Trowa wouldn't do the pyramid, because it was Trowa who caught him!"

Pilot glanced at Duo. "Where were you in this picture?"

Duo pointed at the dark-clad figure off to the left, putting bunny-ears behind Wufei, with the annoyed Heero pulling back on his braid. "That's me."

Next picture. Duo, Quatre, and Heero spinning Relena around in a childish game of Pin The Tail on the Donkey. Duo grinned inwardly, remembering how he'd tricked her into pricking her brother Milliardo with the pin. And how Milliardo had run around the courtyard screaming bloody murder for Duo's neck.

Next picture. Group picture- Lucrezia Noin, Milliardo Peacecraft, Lady Une, all posing in strict military style in military uniforms. Sally Po sat next to Wufei, two of them frozen in time, throwing grass at each other. Quatre and Trowa each had an arm around the other's waist, smiling at the camera. Quatre's sister Iria pinched one of Quatre's cheeks and Catherine Bloom ruffled Trowa's hair. Heero and Relena smiled gently at each other, their hands touching. Howard was giving the two of them a quizzical look, next to Pagan who smiled knowingly.

Duo gulped. There he was, holding Hilde in the air with his arms around her waist, proving to the camera that he could lift her up. Hilde's beautifully annoyed-but-smiling face was going to make him cry.

"They look like wonderful people," Pilot said gently. "A big, happy family."

There was silence.

"I need another drink," Duo said abruptly, going into the kitchen and fixing himself a glass of brandy. Duo eyed the glass, then promptly took the bottle by the neck and downed a third of it in one swing.

His eyes started to brim with tears as the liquor burned down his throat. Duo stewed over the situation. Pilot was going to need a place to sleep. Hell, the kid could have the cot. Duo didn't like the beanbag; it gave him backaches if he fell asleep in it. What was wrong with a backache? Had he turned into such a wimp?

God, did Pilot realize that he was gay? Probably not…if he knew, Pilot would probably think Duo would try to rape him, like the asshole in the alleyway.

"Duo? Are you okay?" Duo half-turned, to see Pilot standing in the doorway of the kitchen, uncertain.

"Yeah…I'm fine, Pilot." Duo sighed, stumbling back into the living room. "But…no more pictures, okay? It makes me emotional…remembering, y'know?"

_Like Father Maxwell. Like Sister Helen. Like Solo. Like Hilde. Oh God. Hilde. _

Suddenly Pilot slipped his hand into Duo's, squeezing it gently. "It's okay, Duo. I know what it's like to lose someone."

Duo stared into Pilot's odd brown eyes. He couldn't decide what unnerved him more- the shade of Pilot's eyes or the fact that he was holding hands with the boy. "What the hell- how did you know about-"

Pilot blushed, ashamed, and withdrew his hand. "That girl, in the picture. You saw it and then you got upset."

Duo shrugged, turning off the picture globe. "Yeah. I left her, the big idiot I am. Out in the cold, without so much as anything to help her get by without me. I can't go back to her now…haven't heard about her for ages…" Duo laughed suddenly, whacking Pilot on the back in a sizable attempt at cheeriness. "But that's the dead past, man! Let's talk about now- because that's the only thing that matters. Now and what comes after now. Not the past."

Pilot wiped at his eyes, then sneezed. "Achoo! Ugh…sorry," he apologized, wiping his face on his sleeve. "Eh…AchOO!"

"Jeez, forgot my manners. There's a shower…over there. You're gonna get sick…Go get a hot shower, or I'll get Deathscythe after you," Duo joked, pushing Pilot over towards the shower, which was behind the kitchen. Pilot gave Duo a shaky smile and went into the shower, as ordered.

Duo gazed at the floor. Pilot wasn't a kid, really. 17? And almost as tall as Duo? Duo found himself thinking of Pilot's face, and then the rest of Pilot. Those soft lips and gentle hands…

He gasped, a sudden intake of air. Damn brandy! Duo swore not to even touch Pilot again. He must really be drunk, fantasizing about a guy he'd barely met! What did he know about this guy anyway? Probably worked for OZ. Or whatever remnants went around calling themselves OZ, damned military structure nowadays…nothing for Shinigami to do…

Duo sank into the beanbag, dazed and confused. The liquor and emotional distress let him slip away into sleep.

__

Father Maxwell's lifeless body sprawled there, a trickle of blood creeping out from the corner of his eyes. A young woman, a nun, shuddered, grabbing young children and lifting them over the body. She wanted to throw up, the sight of dear Father Maxwell made her sick to the core. But she had to get the children out, to safety…

The church was on fire. Sister Helen held back tears, knowing there were half a dozen children inside. She couldn't leave them. Shoving the two youngsters whose hands she'd been holding out the great oak doors, she headed back into the flaming church, her braid bouncing against her robes.

"Stay there Karenina! Duo, keep an eye out for other kids! Don't move!"

_And she went back into the church. "Sister Helen!" the brown haired, blue-eyed boy cried out. But she had gone into the doors. The boy ran in after her. After all, Sister Helen had only told Karen to stay put._

"Duo!" a voice cried out, hoarsely. Duo stopped suddenly, just a ceiling beam came crashing down in front of him, all aflame. Duo looked up at the stairs to see the older, sickly Solo clutching to the banister.

"Solo!" the young boy cried, racing up the banister and holding his dear friend in his arms. Solo collapsed, too ill to move and exhausted from trying. The smoke was suffocating him. Solo looked over Duo's shoulder.

"Oh God, Duo…James…"

Duo looked up the stairwell. It was James, their best pitcher in batball, half on the landing, half on the stairs. James looked very dead, his face scorched and blackened, the flesh beginning to resemble tar. Duo repressed the simultaneous urges to giggle and to gag.

Solo coughed and Duo hugged him, feeling tears overwhelm him. "Oh Solo, don't worry we'll get out of here. Just hold on Solo. Please, don't leave me."

Duo managed to drag Solo's limp body outside. Peter and Nellie awaited them, with the trembling Karenina in Peter's arms. Duo let go of Solo, sobbing, and the four children crouched over their beloved leader. Solo wasn't breathing. He looked dead, eyes closed, face pale.

"Solo, please Solo, wake up," Duo cried, shaking the older boy's shoulder. Solo wheezed, gasped and coughed, opening his eyes and breathing shallowly.

"Solo!" Duo cried out, grabbing Solo's hand and holding it to his face tightly. "Solo we're gonna be all right now."

Solo smiled a little. "You always…were a fighter, kid. The two of us, make a great pair. Duo, I'm sorry…" Solo wheezed, and then Duo knew that Solo wouldn't survive it. "But…you know what they say…Death and God…our greatest friends."

Duo cried silently, his tears running over Solo's charred hands. "I thought I was your greatest friend, Solo!"

"You are, Duo. I'm sorry. Oh Duo," Solo sighed, giving Duo the saddest, sweetest smile he thought he would ever see. And then the light went out of Solo's eyes, and his hand felt heavier in Duo's palms.

Two more children came running out of the great oaken doors, followed by a stumbling Sister Helen. She couldn't see straight, tripping down the stone steps. She knelt there, too weak to move. 

Duo and Peter ran to help Sister Helen, when Duo looked up. The church steeple, flaming like an angelic candle against the dark night sky, crunched, came toppling down towards them. He went with his first instinct, running down the stone steps, tumbling, crashing into the bushes.

There were screams from Nellie and Karenina as the steeple crushed the still-struggling Peter and Sister Helen. The great stained glass windows blew out, scattering glass everywhere. The fire raged ever higher, as if taunting the survivors. Duo could see…pieces…of Sister Helen and Peter. He wrenched pieces of the wreckage away, trying to dig them out, only to be confronted by Sister Helen's face.

"Sister Helen?" he whispered, unable to believe that crushed, bloody mass of bone was his beloved foster mother. He put his hand out to brush a strand of blond hair away from her face…what remained of it. The face moved, the eyes twitching. "Hail Mary," it whispered, spitting blood. Duo wrenched his hand back, but it was caught on something! Duo pulled harder, crying in fear. The gold chain snapped, and he reeled backwards. Duo looked at his hands. Sister Helen's gold cross dangled there, glittering and bloody.

Duo looked up, horrified. He could see inside the church now. The statue of Jesus was still standing, surrounded by the flames that still raged inside the church. 

"Where were you, God!" Duo screamed, as the girls started to wail behind him. "Where were you, God! These…these were good people!" Duo sobbed.

As if in answer, the white statue fell, breaking into a thousand pieces over Father Maxwell's body. The church caved in, and Duo wept, because the statue had had the same sweet, sad smile as Solo.

Then the nightmare changed, and Hilde was sitting inside the broken glass windows. Young Duo was now the older Duo. The Gundam Pilot 02. Hilde smiled at him, and he could have sworn that Solo's face was in there too. Then a wall of flames claimed them both.

"Oh, Solo," he murmured, flicking a piece of plastic away from his face. Only Hilde had that smile sometimes. When she'd stolen the data from Libra. When she'd listened to his ranting at her, as she almost lost her grip on life, she'd smiled that same understanding smile, but laughing behind it too. Sweet and sad, all at once.

Duo opened his eyes the merest slit, a little surprised to find them crusty from tears. He glanced at the clock behind him. Just a few minutes after midnight. Damn. That was a hell of a lot to dream in only an hour and a half.

He stood up, stretching, cracking his back and doing a few arm stretches to wake him up. Duo gave a laugh. "Yep! Nothing like a goooooooood nap." He put the entire nightmare behind him. He'd learned that remembering just did bad things for your mental health- and he was used to covering up his pain with his smile. The smile wasn't always an act.

"Hey, where's Pilot?" Duo thought aloud, looking around. "Don't tell me that guy takes hour long baths! I thought only _girls_ did that!"

Duo turned around completely to see the silently crying Pilot. Duo yelped in surprise, and then started to laugh. "Don't sneak up on me like that! I might shoot you if you're not careful." He pouted at Pilot's tear-streaked face. "What's wrong with _you_?"

Pilot sniffed, and looked Duo in the eyes. His hair was still damp, but he had put his old clothes back on. He looked clean, but his face was unhappy. "You…you talked in your nightmare."

Duo sobered, looking everywhere else but Pilot's eyes. "Yeah. Well, then you know what happened there."

Pilot took a step closer to Duo, hesitating, pain in those glassy brown eyes. "Did you love…Solo?"

Duo gulped, and looked away. "Yeah…yeah, I did."

Pilot took another hesitant step closer. "Did you love Heldy?"

"Hilde," Duo corrected, his voice just a throaty whisper. Pilot was only a few inches away from him. He could feel his breath tickle his chin. Pilot's eyes held so much sympathy for him. "Did I say her name?"

"Yes," Pilot whispered.

Duo licked his lips, then laughed, trying a nervous cheerful grin for size. "Hah, imagine that! I try not to think of her."

"Did you love her?"

Duo looked back into Pilot's eyes. "Yes."

Pilot looked away, taking a step back from Duo and turning to face the window. "So you lost two people you loved. I feel sorry for you."

Duo shrugged, even though Pilot couldn't see. "Yeah…I don't think about it too often though. If I did, I'd really go insane."

Pilot looked over his shoulder wistfully. Duo couldn't help but think just how cute Pilot was, and how much he wanted to-

"I lost someone too," Pilot said softly, his face sad. Duo surprised himself by putting his hands around Pilot's shoulders, and drawing him close. Pilot did not resist, but instead buried his head under Duo's chin.

"It hurts to lose people," Duo said quietly. "But…you have to keep on going. Sometimes you can go back, but that's no reason to stop going forward."

Pilot shuddered, and started to weep. Duo was uneasy- he didn't know how to handle people crying! The only person that ever cried in his arms was Hilde, when she'd broken her leg. So Duo treated Pilot like Hilde, holding him tightly and letting the small boy cry. Poor Pilot's body shook with the strength of his sobs. Duo was angry. Who could make Pilot cry like this?

"He…he was all that mattered to me…and he doesn't even see it…it's partly my fault but I just wish…I wish I could be what he wanted, I don't understand," Pilot babbled incoherently. Duo made a mental note of the "he." Pilot was gay?

"Shh," Duo whispered into the boy's hair. "It's okay. Go ahead and cry, Pilot. It's okay."

Pilot stopped sobbing and looked into Duo's eyes. Duo stared into those glassy brown eyes. Something was nagging him. Something about those eyes. They didn't match Pilot's face. 

Then Pilot kissed Duo, his warm lips pressing into Duo's softly. Duo was shocked, but he found himself returning the kiss just as innocently. It felt so right. Almost familiar.

When they broke the kiss, Duo looked at Pilot's face. "Are…are you sure you know what you're doing?" he whispered, his heart beating faster in fear. Duo studied that sweet half-smile. Was he betraying Hilde?

Pilot's hands reached to caress Duo's face, pulling him closer and kissing him again. This time, Pilot poured his need into the kiss. Duo responded, his hands drawing to Pilot's slim waist and pulling the boy into a melding of bodies. Pilot gasped in the kiss, and Duo took the opportunity to slip his tongue into Pilot's mouth. Pilot entwined his arms around Duo's neck.

Hell, I don't care if it is the brandy, Duo thought. The two of them would break for air and meet again, their passion growing, their hands roaming over each other's backs in gentle caresses.

Almost playfully, Pilot pinned Duo against the wall. He pressed his body to the other boy's forcefully, his hands exploring Duo's muscular chest under the black tunic he wore. One of Duo's hands pulled Pilot's body even closer, and the other hands held the back of Pilot's head, stroking his still damp hair.

_Hilde shrieked as Duo came into the bathroom, gaping wide-eyed at her as she cowered behind a towel. "DUO MAXWELL!"_

"Ahhh! Sorry Hilde, I-" Duo tried to explain, hiding his eyes with his hands. Hilde wrapped her towel around her wet body and glared daggers at him.

"What the hell do you think you-"

"Aw, you look so cute when you're angry," Duo teased, pulling her into his arms despite the fact she was dripping wet. He ruffled her wet hair and kissed her before she could protest further.

Duo pulled away suddenly, his eyes wide in shock. He stared at Pilot. The short hair, the wide eyes and pale skin. The resemblance to Hilde. 

"Duo?" Pilot asked questioningly.

"Those are contacts," Duo breathed, holding Pilot away from him at arm's length, his hands squeezing Pilot's arms tightly. "Your hair- it's dyed. Answer me!"

Pilot squirmed, trying to break away. "Duo!"

Duo shook the boy slightly, and he didn't know whether to cry or to laugh, or to be angry. He felt frightened. "Your eyes aren't really that color. They're contacts. Aren't they? Answer me!"

Pilot looked into Duo's face, frightened, scared of him. Duo set his jaw grimly as Pilot nodded.

"Take them out. _Now._"

The unnamable emotion in Duo's voice was evident, and it wasn't a request- it was an order. Pilot brought one shaky hand to his eyes, wincing as he removed his contacts. Duo could only stare at the two pieces of glass in Pilot's hands. He didn't dare look in the other boy's eyes.

"Duo, please…look at me," Duo heard Pilot beg. It took all of his strength to look up-

Into the tearful, _blue_, eyes of Hilde Schbeiker.

Duo caught his breath. "I thought it was you, at first," he breathed, still gripping her arms tightly. "You're…a good actor…"

"Act-tress," she corrected him softly. They stood there, silent, as if they hardly knew each other.

Duo's heart broke into a million pieces. "Hilde?" He released his hold on her and she folded into his arms, both of them sobbing like there was no tomorrow. "Hilde!" he choked out, his arms around her so tightly his knuckles were white. Hilde had her arms wrapped around Duo's chest, as if she was being torn away by the wind and wouldn't let go. 

"Duo, Duo…I thought I'd lost you forever," she whispered between gulping sobs. Suddenly she sagged in his arms, and he looked into her face, alarmed. She'd fainted, the silly thing.

Oh his beautiful Hilde, back in his arms again…

Duo lowered her carefully onto the beanbag, still unable to believe it. She'd cut her hair more like Quatre's, with thin, wispy bangs, and the contacts had hidden the beauty of her blue eyes in that discolored shade of brown. The Chinese jacket hid her female figure well. She truly could pass for a boy. But he'd known her for years! How in hell did she manage to pull it off?

"Uh…" she moaned, and Duo took her hand in his as she opened her eyes gently. "D-Duo?"

"It's okay Hildey-girl. I'm here."

Hilde struggled to prop herself against the giant beanbag and kept sinking into it. After a few minutes, she looked properly annoyed and Duo actually laughed.

"Eh, I'll just get down on your level," he teased, lying down beside her. She turned and they lay there, simply looking at each other.

"Why'd you come?" Duo asked, stroking her face with his hand softly, like the kiss of a butterfly.

Hilde closed her eyes, savoring his touch. "I- I needed to see you, Duo. I thought you were kidding about moving out that day. You really left. It scared me…Duo, I love you."

Duo looked at her beautiful face and thought sadly how his little sheep had been shorn. "But why'd you come as- as a drag king?"

Hilde looked crushed, as if she'd expected more after her confession of love. "I…I thought maybe if you couldn't love me as a woman, you could fall in love with me as a man, since they said…you said…that you weren't attracted to women…then you weren't attracted to me as a woman, so I-"

"Shh," Duo whispered, placing a finger over Hilde's trembling lips. "Its okay, Hilde. It's okay."

There was silence for a few minutes, as they studied each other's faces, trying to think of what to say.

"You're right," Duo said finally. "I'm not attracted to other women."

Hilde turned away shamefacedly, stifling a sob. "Duo, I-"

"I'm only attracted to you."

Hilde looked back, stopping in her sentence. Duo took a deep breath. "I don't know what's wrong with me- but I don't think I'm really gay, Hilde. That one time with Solo made me think I was…but that was just love."

"I don't understand," she whispered back, pain and confusion in her face. Duo brushed her cheek again.

"I loved Solo, and I wanted to make him happy so much that I convinced myself I was gay. Nothing happened until I met you, and I didn't realize I loved you. I hadn't loved anybody for awhile…" Duo looked away momentarily. "I didn't let myself fall in love. I thought that if anybody got close to me, I'd lose them. But- I love you Hilde. I love you more then anything in the universe. Hell, I had your picture in Deathscythe's cockpit."

Hilde smiled through her tears.

"And…and when I'm with you, I think, er…well, ehh," Duo started blushing madly and Hilde giggled. "It was stupid of me to convince myself that I was something I wasn't. Maybe it was okay while I had Solo, but to keep on pretending, when I had you…I'm sorry Hilde."

Hilde sighed softly, and snuggled closer into Duo's embrace. "I'm sorry too, for having to make you rescue me again."

Duo remembered the incident with "Pilot" and the alley. He became angry and looked at Hilde fiercely. "Don't you ever try something that stupid again!" he snarled, and Hilde just grinned. "You could've gotten yourself raped, or worse!"

"Yeah, but with the God of Death on my side, I'm invincible," Hilde giggled. They smiled at each other, content. "You'll come back to the scrap yard then? Everyone else wants you to come home also. They all helped me find you, but I asked to come alone."

Duo looked surprised. "Everyone? Even the other Gundam pilots?"

Hilde nodded, her fingers tracing Duo's eyes. "Of course, you lunk-head, they're all your friends! The other Gundam pilots were especially worried- it took all of them to coerce the shuttle officials into giving us the records of the flights off the colony." She paused, then drew closer into Duo's embrace with a soft sigh. "So, you'll come home?"

Duo winked. "Hmm…I dunno…should I?"

"Duo!"

"You know I will, little Miss Schbeiker," Duo grinned, pulling her into another breath-taking kiss. When they parted, Duo gave her a broad wink. "Nah, I think you were cuter when I thought you were a boy, _Pilot_," he teased.

"Oooohh! Duo Maxwell!" Hilde ranted in mock fury, grinning all the while. "Well, I could be a boy and you could undoubtedly pass as a girl!"

"Think any girl could do _this?_" Duo growled seductively, throwing his body on top of Hilde's and holding her into the beanbag. They looked into each other's eyes again, and let their pent up passions loose. All the need in the past year and a half, all the pain and loving.

EPILOGUE:

Duo rocketed out of the shuttle and practically bowled Wufei over. "Wu-man!" he squealed. "Just as grumpy as ever! Things haven't changed a bit!"

"Duo! You're back!" Quatre yelled happily, running over to embrace his friend and Wufei muttered angrily beneath the two of them. Reluctantly, Wufei smiled and shook Duo's hand warmly. 

"It's about time, Duo no baka, Howard was about to paint the Deathscythe Hell pink to get you to come out," Wufei chuckled. Duo grinned, then grimaced at the thought of his beloved Gundam pink.

"Duo, the 'best friend I've got,' " Trowa quoted wryly, then clapped Duo on the back. "It's nice to see you've come back."

"The Gundams are a team, and we weren't much of one when we were one pilot short," Heero added, coming up to the foursome. He cracked the smallest of smiles at Duo's sunny face. Duo winked.

"Hey, evil canevil! Glad to see you haven't lost any of your optimism!" Duo joked, then turned as a new host of cheers came from further up the terminal. Duo gaped as the entire Maganac corp., Sally and the Preventers, Lady Une, Milliardo Peacecraft and Princess Relena, Howard and everyone else Duo had known came charging down to meet him. Congratulations were thrown out from every corner- "Welcome back," "We missed you", anything you could think of.

"Aw, jeez, guys…" Duo said, almost speechless. "This is a little much, don't you think? I mean, all this- for me?"

"You're our _friend_, Duo," Quatre pointed out, smiling from inside Trowa's casual embrace.

"That, and Hilde, Relena, Sally Po, and Noin promised us a good dinner if we all came here and acted like we were glad you were back," Heero added. 

"Heero!" Relena hissed, giving him a slight nudge with her elbow. Duo gaped again.

"Whoa! Heero, you just cracked a joke! I _have_ been gone a long time!" Duo tilted his head, then looked around quizzically. "Speaking of which, where's Hildey-girl? She was on the shuttle with me."

Soon everyone was glancing left to right, expecting to see Hilde Schbeiker pop up suddenly from a corner. "That's right," Lady Une said softly, laughing to herself. "She went to get that dinner started. And she said to expect Pilot when you got home."

"Who's Pilot?" Noin asked, a quizzical expression leaping from her face to everyone else's.

Duo blew out a long sigh. "Whoo," he laughed, "that's a long, bent story that Hilde should tell you." He looked down at the ground for a moment, a small gentle smile playing across his face. When he looked up, a devil's gleam shone in his eyes and a daring grin was plastered to his face. 

"Come on!" Duo whooped aloud, grabbing Heero's arm, who grabbed Wufei, who grabbed Trowa, who was holding Quatre, and dragged the pilots through the terminal, with the rest of the crowd shouting at them to slow down.

Duo burst through the glass doors into the fresh night air of the colony, with the Gundam pilots filtering in after him. He grinned at the night sky, seemingly for the first time appreciating how beautiful the stars were.

There was a flash of light and Duo saw purple circles in his eyes, and he heard yelps of surprise from Wufei and Quatre as the camera flash blinded them. With a bewildered face he looked down the long stone steps into Hilde's teasing smile. She dangled the camera lazily.

"Gotcha, Shinigami," she winked. Duo looked puzzled and smiled as the other Gundam pilots started to laugh with him. Duo raced down the steps, tossing his hat and his worries into the air, into the wind.

Inside the camera, forever immortalized as chemicals on film, were the grins of four brave, kind young men- and the sweet, sad smile that Duo wore as he gazed at the sky.

__


End file.
